Don't walk away...

i am indifferent once again. towards everything. but numbingly content within my own head. escapism comes into play, i hear whispers in my ear, i see people, i see visions in the windows of subway cars every morning and every night. i live somewhere else, i want to stay there. every week that passes, i go farther and farther away, i don't care where you are. i thought i would be a wreck when you finally left again, and although it came sooner than when i had anticipated, i had expected it nonetheless and so i'm fine. after years of experience, my mind automatically forgets everything as soon as they walk away. sometimes i forget their names. stories i've told to my friends have to be retold to me, if i should need to be reminded. however, they know better. we do not speak of the long lost.