Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold onto something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain.
Everybody just keeps on moving on in this crazy, messed up world. That's all you can do anyways. You keep smiling, you keep moving, you just keep on living. Cause who knows, you might just be the only thing keeping somebody else from stopping. You might be someone's everything and not even know it. If you stop moving, what's to keep them from stopping too?It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, feels like your heart stopped beating, feels like that dream you know the one when you are falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but its all out of your control, you cant trust anything anymore, no one is who they say they are, your life is changed forever, and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is no one will be able to break your heart like that again.
to my secret best friend:I ask myself why, and in that same breath, as I watch you, I get my answer. It’s everything about you; its that teasing smile, that warm scent. Its the curve of your arms, the tousle of your hair, the ring of your voice. Its just everything about you. But more than that, its everything about me. Its everything about the way you make me laugh, cry, smile and hurt. Its everything about the way you make me feel. And that’s everything that I cannot, and would not, want to let go off.
